Balancing Male and Female Energies



At the collective level centuries of imbalance between the masculine and feminine ways of being have left a deep scar in the human psyche. No one can escape the effect of this which pervades both our inner and outer lives . . . when we experience a split between heart and mind, feeling and thinking, tenderness and strength, it is at work.           John Welwood, Toward a Psychology of Awakening.

During a meditation I heard It is time to shift your self-image from warrior to dancer. I was stunned. It made perfect sense. As I reflected on this shift I wrote:

I have been a warrior most of my life. I felt I needed to prove, achieve, master, and do. I lived life like I had to conquer it. I moved out into the world, believing I had to make things happen. This mode served me well for a long time. I built a successful career and business, and created a sense of competency and worth around my achievements. Now, this self-image no longer serves me, in fact, it drains me. I am tired of pushing through, I want to rest and let life come to me, to dance with life.

Ah, this is the image of the dancer. As I began playing with the dancer image I realized I craved the idea of letting life flow through me. As a dancer, I am a partner with life not a conqueror of life. I am in relationship with life. My dancer waits, trusting in life and knowing all is well. My whole body relaxes as I let this image flow through me. It is hard for me to imagine waiting for life to come to me. Trust is not a quality that comes easy.

Warrior is my default mode. When I feel stressed, anxious, or frustrated, I move into the warrior, take-charge mode. It is my warrior energy that creates the struggle of believing I should be doing more. With awareness, I can allow my warrior to rest. It is not either/or, it is both, a flow between my warrior and dancer. The shift of image is a process and I trust in its slow movement through my being.

I build trust when I focus on the word flow. When I flow with what is, there is no need to control. Flowing body movements are sensuous and feminine. The dancer flows, the warrior marches. I do both, and am incorporating flow much more often.

How balanced are your male and female energies?

This is an excerpt from my newly published book Listening to My Life: My journey Through Fear to Trust.

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