Author: listeningtomylife7

I spent much of my career in education, serving in several capacities in the public schools.  I was a teacher, counselor, sex-equity coordinator, introducing and implementing Title IX, and principal. I left a tenured position and started my own business as an educational consultant in organizational change.  At 55 I stopped everything and followed Spirit’s whispers which lead me into a deep spiritual healing. I share my healing journey in my new memoir, "Listening to My Life." It is available on Amazon in both print and e-book format.  I am  a spiritual director living in Tacoma, WA, and continue to enjoy hiking, gardening, traveling , and reading. 

Two Affairs

by listeningtomylife7, posted in nature, spirituality, Uncategorized

I heard someone say recently that we all carry on two affairs throughout our lifetime:

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one is with the past and the other is with the future.  Each has its own siren that calls us forward or back in time taking us away from the present.  This really made me stop and think. As I reflected on these two affairs in my life I became aware of how often I am pulled from the present moment.

This photograph shows a part of seven miles of old growth trails right out my back fence. I walk them as often as possible. Nature is my spiritual home.  Even on these trails I find myself fast-forwarding, planning my next hour, day, week.  The natural world gently calls me to listen to the birds singing, to bend down and smell the flowers by the path, to be astounded by the gradation of greens that dot the landscape. Even with all this call to slow down and notice the moment, the future’s call is often louder.  Eckhart Tolle says, “Focus on the NOW and tell me what problems you have at this moment.”  Stress and gratitude cannot reside in the same moment.  Being present takes our minds off the future and/or past.

I don’t spend a lot of time in the past.  I am not one to put energy into bitterness and regret. I don’t spend time wishing my past were different. I do spend time reflecting on the impact of my life events to help me understand my behaviors and beliefs of today. My past experiences are my best teachers.  Being from a long line of alcoholics I have definitely spent time looking at the impact of alcoholism on my life, and the behaviors I developed to protect myself.  These are behaviors that no longer serve me, and hinder my ability to live a full life today. By acknowledging them I have the opportunity to heal through them. My affair with the past is more about learning how my past impacts me now, so I can let go of old stories and make room for the new.

I continue to practice being fully present right here, right now.  It doesn’t always work as I have a very active mind filled with chatter.  As I quit the chatter, I breathe into the present.  Buddha states, “ Enlightenment is not a state we transcend to, but rather it is experiencing full presence and awakening in daily life.”

May we all learn to be more fully present to our lives, opening our hearts to the awe and wonder life offers.

 

 

The most foreign territory is within. Alice Walker

by listeningtomylife7, posted in writing prompts

This quote speaks to the purpose of my writing prompt posts. There are so many buried experiences that form our beliefs and behaviors. Writing is one way to begin to unearth those orphaned parts within ourselves.

When I was a trainer back in the 80s and 90’s, I often used a video by Morris Massey called “What you Are, Is Where You Were When.” He showed how our childhood experiences formed unconscious biases and behaviors. One of the things he said that has always stuck with me is, “What you didn’t have as a ten-year-old, becomes extremely important to you as an adult.”

What I missed and needed the most as a ten-year-old was to be seen and heard by my parents. One of the gifts of writing my memoir, Listening to My Life, was the clarity I gained about the threads that run through my life. A major thread is my wanting to listen to others and let them know they are heard and seen. This followed me through my career as a teacher, counselor, administrator, facilitator/trainer, and to my current vocation as a spiritual director.
My prompt this week is to reflect back to your ten-year- old self and think about what you wanted/needed that you didn’t receive. Write about it and then write about how it has impacted your adult life.
Remember no editing or critiquing. Enjoy exploring your inner world and write, write, write.

“The secret to finding the deeper level in the other is finding the deeper level in yourself. Without finding it in ourself, you cannot see it in the other.” Eckhart Tolle

Being My Authentic Self

by listeningtomylife7, posted in spirituality, Uncategorized

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Be Yourself

The very energy of life is the spirit released by being what we are.  Mark Nepo

I am struck by how often I yearn to be all that I am meant to be.  What makes me believe I am not living my authentic life?  This is a question I often ponder.  Who am I beneath the layers of cultural expectations and learned behaviors?  I know that beneath all of these layers is my Divine Essence. That spark that I entered this life with. I touch her when I experience awe or wonder at the beauty that surrounds me, or deep sharing with friends, or playing a game.  Often, I am reacting or responding to the daily rush of activities.

My question again, who is responding—–my authentic core or my highly developed ego based on cultural norms? I read a piece on “Lifehack” by Mandy Kloppers where she listed some things we should not care about. Reading over the list I thought, Yes.  When I care about these things I am trying to fit in instead of listening to and following my inner wisdom. Below is a condensed version of what she recommends:

1. Don’t care about what others think.  The minute you do you begin trying to please them, which in turn gives them power over your actions.

2. Don’t fret over past mistakes.  We all make mistakes and actually that is the only way we learn.  Perfection is highly overrated. We can only be ourselves when we give ourselves permission to try new things and experiment.

3. Don’t focus on what you don’t have.  Our culture is so consumer driven that we believe we need more, more, and more.  We begin comparing our lives to others.  Comparing ourselves to others creates a mindset of lack.  There is always a loser in comparison and it is generally the one comparing.

4. Worrying about the “what ifs” takes us out of our own fullness and keeps our lives small.  When you begin trusting your inner voice, you are living from your authentic self. 

5. Wishing your current life away by thoughts of “I’ll be happy when…” This one phrase puts your life on hold. Wishing your current life away is a precious waste of happy moments.  

6. Don’t live your life regretting what can’t be undone.  Look at what you’ve regretted in life, learn from it and let it go.  Regrets hold us in a past that can’t be changed.  

Step into your present life with the valuable lessons you have learned and enjoy what life offers today.

 

Journal Prompts for Going Deeper

by listeningtomylife7, posted in writing prompts

These prompts are from Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. who states, “I think journaling prompts are key to continually maintaining a dialogue with ourselves. It is part of building a healthy relationship, or rather a friendship, with yourself.”

Eleanor Roosevelt once stated, “Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”

Journaling has been my ongoing spiritual practice. I started after reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist Way over twenty-five years ago. I continue to do morning pages to ask myself important questions, to process an experience, to dive deep into memories, or to just get the blah blah blah’s out so I can move into the day more lightly.

I invite you to read through the following prompts and choose the ones that speak to you and write, write, write.

—My favorite way to spend the day is…….

—If I could talk to my teenage self, the one thing I would say is……..

—The two moments I’ll never forget in my life are….Describe them in great detail. What makes them so unforgettable?

—Make a list of 30 things that make you smile. ( Pursue these.)

—The words I’d like to live by are……

—I couldn’t imagine living without……

—When I am in pain, physical or emotional, the kindest thing I can do for myself is……

—Make a list of the people in your life who genuinely support you, and who you can genuinely trust. Describe why. (Make time to hang out with them.)

—What does unconditional love look like for you?

—What would you do if you loved yourself unconditionally? How can you act on these if you don’t?

Enjoy building a deeper friendship with yourself. Remember, no editing or critiquing, just write what comes up.

I will devote the next couple of posts to different writing prompts for you to delve into.

The Mystic Within

by listeningtomylife7, posted in nature, spirituality, Uncategorized

When it’s over, I want to say, all my life I was a bride married to amazement.  Mary Oliver

I dedicate this piece to Mary Oliver, whom we lost this week.  She was a true mystic, present to the amazing beauty of nature that surrounds us every day.  The mystic sees the sacred in the ordinary.  The mystical path takes us from our head to our heart.  It is a path of mystery, awe, wonder, and gratitude.

When I am fully present to life, I am able enjoy the birds in my backyard, the park I am able to walk everyday, and the antics of the squirrel that has outsmarted me each day.  This beautiful squirrel continues to eat my birdseed and bird suet.  I finally went out and bought a squirrel baffler.  Looking out in the yard later I noticed the squirrel sitting on a branch of the tree looking at the baffler.  He looked up, he looked to both sides, and then stared at the baffler.  I am smiling and thinking “Ha got you!”  All of a sudden he crouches down, takes a flying leap up under the baffler and proceeds to enjoy the suet.  As I watched this great display of nature, I was feeling no stress or tension, I was just smiling and enjoying the intelligence of this little critter.  He is now part of my wildlife backyard.

Abraham Maslow once said, “The great lesson from the mystics is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life, in one’s neighbors, friends, and family…in one’s backyard.”  Yes, it is what Abraham Heschel calls “Radical Amazement,” the ability to see the world through the eyes of awe and wonder, and to be amazed and astonished at the beauty, complexity, and synchronicity that graces our lives.

Mary Oliver shared her mystical soul with us through her poetry.  I thank her for waking me up to a form of earthy, accessible, and mystical poetry.  I close with her three recommendations for life:

Pay attention
Be Astounded
Tell Someone

May you know in your heart that animal-close-up-fur-47359we are all born mystics.  Being a mystic is as natural as experiencing wonder.