We often have unfinished business with a loved one, a friend, an ex that we would like to resolve but don’t know how. Write them a letter, not for them, for you. It is a letter that you won’t mail. This letter is for you to get all your pain, hurt, confusion, questions, anger out. Whether the person is alive or has passed on, this is a wonderful way to begin your healing process by sharing your thoughts and feelings.
My mother died suddenly when I was in my early thirties. At the time I still held a lot of unresolved anger and resentment toward her. Not only was I in deep grief, I was crushed by the guilt of my feelings. I decided to write her a letter sharing my hurt and confusion regarding our relationship. It was surprising how long the letter turned out to be. I went to the cemetery and read the letter to her. I then put it in an envelop and saved it.
Over the years I have periodically read the letter and added to it. Each new addition showed my growth and understanding of our relationship. Over forty years these moments with my mother, through letter writing, have been very healing. The last letter I wrote was this past Mother’s Day and it was filled with love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding for both my mother and myself.
I invite you to think of someone you would like to write a letter to expressing your sense of unfinished business between the two of you. Write them, sharing your feelings and confusion regarding your relationship. Writing this type of letter is not about them, it is about you and your desire to heal yourself.
Ardine Martinelli 